I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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