operation have a gay friend backfired
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
