He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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