I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
