i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
