You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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