This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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