do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
