I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
