Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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