we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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