i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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