I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
