were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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