We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
