I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
