community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
