Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
