suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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