Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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