Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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