Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
