Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
