Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Randomize
