trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
