you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
