he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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