Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm always down for nudity.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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