Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
