okay pat passed out under dana's car
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
this will be a night to untag.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
