he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
