I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
