true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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