just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
