Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
