you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
