He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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