Are we in a gay sports bar?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
