On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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