why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
be right there i have to get my cape
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
