I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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