Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
