we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
