I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
