I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
