There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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