Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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