new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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