His hands were made for my vagina.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
