She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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